Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
