I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
