Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
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