Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize