I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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