I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
