I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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