if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
