One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
