wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
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This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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