AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
