my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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