Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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