bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
