This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
