There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
