accomplished twins. life is a go
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
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Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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