She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
