she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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