If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
