you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
