just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
