He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
