Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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