ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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