i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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