Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
