I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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