Pants 0. Shit 1.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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