singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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