You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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