i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
