Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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