FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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