I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize