Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
