that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
