he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
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If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
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They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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