That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
