...so i touched it.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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