i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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