So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize