Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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