God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
