One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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