he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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