So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I intend to get homeless drunk
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
