whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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