are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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