He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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