i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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