So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
