KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
do herpes really smell.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
