And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
