You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
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Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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