Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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