i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
