Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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