you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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