just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
