hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
