Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
